While waiting for one particular Cbeebies show to end, marking time for me to shout “Come on get your shoes on.. it’s nearly time to go” I wasted my last few minutes scrolling through Facebook on my phone. I stopped at a particular Netmum post. Now I don’t normally read them anymore, and not sure why I haven’t simply just unliked the page, But this post did grab my attention.
It tells the story of another Mother of Twins and blogger, who complains of the annoyance of constantly getting stopped and bombarded with Twin related questions every time she went out. For a joke to express her feelings about her frustration she posted a picture of her twins holding a sign with numerous questions and answers written on them, The picture was very cute and was humourous. But the whole blog and comments after made me feel a little uneasy and sad.
I honestly never have minded getting stopped numerous times a day and getting asked all sorts of Twin related questions by excited passers-by. I always felt there intentions were good, even if some of their questions were at times awkward. “Did you have them naturally?” Was one of those awkward questions, made worse as I never knew if this time they were referring to the way they were conceived or born? Both personal questions you wouldn’t normally stop and ask a stranger. My still all time favourite question to us about my Boy/Girl Twins is “Are they identical?”
I guess my main reasons for not minding are I know how lucky I am to have them both here? I feel a glee of pride when people ask about them. I wish more people would refer to them as the Twins. Secondly I knew that in time these questions would come to the end.
Now Owen is in his Special Needs Chair and Florence walks beside him, they nearly always get mistaken for Older/younger siblings. This mistake especially happens in the winter with his cosy tos pulled up. Owen always gets mistaken for much younger than he is. This is when the real awkward questions come. Trying to explain that they are in fact twins but Owen has Cerebral Palsy and can’t walk or talk is plan awkward. I myself am fine talking about Owens disabilitites as I always want to be open and honest. It is all just matter of fact for me. The tricky part is trying to judge who you are talking too. I try and tailor my answers to fit in what they can cope with, what can they understand how much detail do they want. Responses from my answers generally fall into two caterogies The”Oh I am sorry” or “Oh but he is such a happy boy”
Worse than not being stopped and asked questions it the double takes people do in front of Owen, the sighs of pity , or gasps of shock. I know these are the things I need to let just bounce off me and this is mainly ignorance on their part.
I do realise I am being overly sensitive to such a ‘Jokey ‘ post. Now I do totally understand this is this Mothers personal experience and she has right to express how she feels. As my own personal experience has made me feel very differently and I also have rhe right to feel the way I do. I also understand I am probably still dealing with the ‘ideal’ of what Twin life ‘should be’ like. This is evident while on the school run I go pass another mother of blonde haired similar aged twins arguing and fighting to get into the car on the way to school and and at times a little pain hits me.
Then I pull myself together and remember that ‘Our Twin life’ is just that Typically ‘OURS’ Owen loves to annoy Florence be that by pulling on her hair or going into a fit of giggles when she is cross and upset, making her shout even crosser and loudly shout “it’s not funny Owen.” Florence at times has blamed Owen for something he didn’t (Can’t) do. Florence taking a toy he is playing with while knowing full well he can’t chase after her. Or Florence always asking for extra sweets for her brother when its her friends birthday at school knowing full well he can’t eat them.
It is also the excitement when they a reunited after spending the day in their separate schools. The worry Florence has when Owen is unwell. The fact they love to play together, find ech other hilarious, hug each love each other, that’s Our Twin Life.