JUNE 2016: Just re read this draft… It didn’t make the light of day 2 years ago. Maybe it was all too raw still.
Today I am able to share this.
Not sure if this blog entry will make the actual blog, but as it is Fathers Day today it got me thinking and that led to writing. The problem is this post is more about my husband Alex, when he found out I was writing about him he wasn’t keen on me posting it. I told him I would finish writing it, then I would read it to him and he could decide whether I should post or not. So if you are reading this the answer was YES I could.
Father’s Day 2014
I always knew Alex would be a Great Dad, But we both underestimated the lengths a great dad would have to go to become an Amazing Dad.
Looking back at when we first became parents its like looking back at two very different people.
Obviously we were younger. We were first time parents. We made some mistakes and worried too much over things that didn’t need worrying over.
But we always did and continue to have the same views on parenting. We are nearly always on the same page and always deal with things together.
We recently both spoke about how we have changed or
evolved and both agree we can pin point a particular time when that change took place.
Finding out we were having Twins was the start of it. The memory of that day still makes me laugh.
Alex was wearing a Superman top, Alex went so pale and quiet with just plain panic in his eyes. Despite the massive shock we were happy.
A week later at second scan that feeling changed, we had some news that made us look at things a different way and we had to make some really most serious decisions.
After the shock of delivering the twins at 28 weeks, as well as dealing with fears for the twins life, Alex then had to deal with his fears about myself as I became poorly. He must of felt so split and so alone.
When I was finally able to see our babies, I was surprised how well Alex was coping. How he had made such a personal link with the Doctors and Nurses. This was immensely important and it set the tone for the rest of our stay. Alex tried to understand every bit of medical jargon they threw at him. If he didn’t understand something he would question it until it was made clear.
During this same time I have to admit I felt a mess. I felt poorly, weak and in pain. I felt useless.
When we was able to do the babies cares Alex stepped up first. I was so frighten of hurting the babies. The alarms put me of even undoing a nappy change, as even a small movement could set them off.
Alex was confident. Alex supported me so much on my first visits, With Alex’s gentle guidance we both soon became pros. With his help I found my way back to some sort of myself. I finally felt I had regained my role as a Mother.
We then worked together as a team.
We knew when each other had a moment when words were too hard too find and wanted peace.
We knew when the other was on the edge of breaking and we found the strength to hold it together for the both of us, We knew if the other wanted time out and would suggest going for a “walk” which often meant doing a couple laps of the car park till we could pull ourselves together again.
Our experience changed us, it may not be noticeable to others but we notice each others changes.. it has made us better parents and people for sure. It and has given us the strength to deal with whatever the future may have for us… one day at a time .
Family life can be busy, stressful and tiring due to lack of sleep for two years and generally not having enough hours in the day. Most nights when Alex comes in from work our house is full of craziness… either happy hyper crazy or babies crying kids arguing crazy, whatever it may be Alex gets in grabs a baby from my arms and mucks in.
So really all I wanted to say is HAPPY FATHERS DAY ALEX xxx